Dr Mario's Wacky Adventure
by zen6636
Summary: Dr. Mario's adventure into unknown territory in his career and personal life.
1. Chapter 1

It was another slow day in Dr. Mario's clinic. Patients were slow coming in but they  
were quick getting out. You see, Dr. Mario's way of dealing with any illness is to get  
his assistant, Pitch, to take them to the back room where Dr. Mario can see them. From  
there, Mario would take his bottle of color assorted pills and shove them down the patient's  
throat. For what ever reason this ALWAYS worked. It didn't matter if they had ebola or aids  
Dr. Mario would cure it. Some people had begun to worship Dr. Mario as a god, while others  
clearly trust him as he is not even a liscensed doctor. Despite this, Mario always had a  
steady flow of patients. The day was going as normal as could be until...

"Whata can Ia do for youa today, Toad?" Dr. Mario asked him. "Well... uh... you see it's..."  
"It'sa what? Speaka up, Toad!" Mario said with a voice of slight annoyance. "It's... It's...  
Dr. Mario... I-I- need you to give me a vasectomy!" he yelled. Mario's face showed visable  
confusion. He had never performed a surgery, let alone a vasectomy. "Don'ta youa think you shoulda  
go to a surgeon for thata?" Toad begins sobbing and clinging onto Mario's clothes. "PLEASE, Dr. Mario, you're the only doctor I trust! You have to do it! I have to protect my girlfriend for getting pregnant! You hav-" Mario violently kicks him into the wall, breaking part of the wall, and dazing him. While he is unconscious, Dr. Mario crosses his arms closes his eyes and begins to think aloud. "I reallya don'ta wanta Toads kid to be the firsta childa I deliver too... I guessa I have no choice..." As Toad wakes up Mario explains to him that he passed out crying and agrees to perform the surgery while giving him a time to come back. "THANK YOU DR. MARIO! I knew I could count on you!" The patient walks out happy, but Dr. Mario is anything but. Mario has agreed to something he was unprepared for, but he knows he could do it with enough self confidence, after all,  
how hard could it be to fuck up some guy's balls?

"Giva me the scalpel." Dr. Mario's hands tremble as Pitch hand him the knife. He begins brings to sweat as he brings the scalpel to Toad's small scrotum. As the blade meets the skin, Mario slips up due to his nervousness, cutting the skin deeply. Blood begins to spew everywhere. Dr. Mario only used drugs to keep the patient from feeling anything, but he did nothing to restrict blood flow. Pitch faints and Mario is screaming "OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK!" Mario takes a rag and applies it to the cut, in hopes of reducing the blood coming out of the man's balls. Dr. Mario's mind is racing! But suddenly, he remembers what he's supposed to do. Mario takes the rag off the cut. He takes the scalpel and cuts the scrotum open and removes the man's testicles, with blood spewing everywhere... After it was all said and done, after Mario had sewn back the skin, he lets out a sigh and sits next to Pitch's sleeping body on the floor, covered in blood. Dr. Mario has fucked up the vasectomy, he more or less neutered the man, but at least he protected Toads's girlfriend. Mario falls asleep in blood holding Pitch's hand.


	2. Chapter 2

Dr. Mario woke up in a room of dried up blood. Mario put his hand on his forehead, trying to remember the events of the previous night. He looked beside him to notice that Pitch was gone, and he then looked up to see that Toad's body was still on the table. "Oha no! Toad!", Dr. Mario gets up and begins to frantically shake his body. Toad's eyes slowly open and focus on Mario. "OH HI MARIO!" Toad screamed in a loud high pitched voice. Dr. Mario let out a sigh of relief. "Toad, you'rea lucky man." Mario remarked. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN MARIO?!" Toad screamed, "Nothing Toad, nothing." Dr. Mario replied rubbing his ears. After a bit of discussion about how well the operation went, Dr. Mario sent Toad on his way with an ice pack on his crotch.

The next few weeks went on as usual with nothing big happening. However, this time of peace would not last, for a new threat would come to challenge Dr. Mario's medical career.

"Hmm... Where are alla of the patients?" Mario pondered on a extra ordinarily slow day. "Pitch, howa many people havea I cured todaya?" Dr. Mario asked his assistant. "We've only seen 5 people today." she replied in her usual monotone voice. Mario sighed and rest his head in his hand. Suddenly he began to hear voices from outside. He got up and went outside to see what was going on. It seems a new building had been placed across from his. The sign above the door of the building read "Dr. Amigo: Curando todas las enfermedades, ahora vacunando!" and there is a line of a ton of people leading into the building. This infuriated Dr. Mario. "Thisa "Dr. Amigo" isa taking my business" he thought aloud. He started towards the building, pushing and kicking the people in line out of the way. "Where isa the head of thisa clinic?" Mario demanded the receptionist. "¿Qué fue eso?" She didn't understand English very well, but Dr. Mario wasn't having any of this shit. He storms past the desk and on to the back of the clinic. Down the hall he finds a room with a window on the door. Mario looks in to find a man that looks a lot like himself giving a shot to person. Dr. Mario kicks the door open, surprising the Doctor and causing him to push the needle deeper into his patient's arm, making him yell. Dr. Mario moves towards the Doctor and demands "Who the hella are you?!". "Eh? Soy el Dr. Amigo!" He replied.


End file.
